I recently read this article:-
It started me thinking about the excesses and paradoxes of this time of year. People who are normally rational get caught up in the hoopla and end up doing things that at any other time of the year would seem ridiculous and unnecessary.
Decorating one’s house, for example, with tacky shiny things and even more tacky fairy lights. Buying enough food to last a small African nation several weeks and eating it in a 1 or 2 day orgy of excess. Attending a church service when one has absolutely no interest in organised religion. And that at midnight, for chrissakes. Sending hundreds of pieces of glitter-covered cardboard through the post to people we normally only see at funerals, and then only when we cannot avoid attending. Placing a huge felled tree in one’s living room. Enduring bitter arguments with family members normally best kept at a distance. It goes on…
It’s all pretty stupid, and yet at christmas millions of people do it purely because others are doing it, these sheep-like instincts being wrapped up in vague justifications with phrases like “christmas spirit” and “the season of goodwill”.
Last Year
I speak as someone with no religious beliefs, who would like nothing better than for the whole tradition to die out, like cock-fighting or slavery. And yet it’s impossible to put such a cocoon around myself that what’s going on doesn’t affect me at all. A little history…
I am one of those people who went straight from living in a family who liked to celebrate christmas, to living with a girlfriend who liked to celebrate christmas. When my partner and I separated in 2010, that year was the first year when I could do precisely what I wanted during the christmas season. What I wanted, of course, was to ignore it, so ignore it I did.
But it’s not always easy going against the herd, particularly when the herd is so caught up in social excess that solitary people with different priorities get lost in the crowd. I found that I felt lonely, in spite of not having any interest in joining others’ festivities. The people I would normally turn to for company were not available, precisely because they were caught up in the whole “eat, drink and be merry” vibe, and the feeling of solitude (which normally I am quite comfortable with) was heightened by the contrast between my choice and the choices of others.
Although I managed to avoid becoming depressed, I found my thinking becoming quite negative. It may be a season of goodwill, but goodwill did not appear to involve sensitivity. I decided that Christmas was actually the season when more people are oblivious to the situations of others than any other time of the year.
I didn’t regret my choice not to get dragged in to the festivities – but I knew I needed a better way to handle it.
This Year
This year, I spent some serious time thinking about how to deal with this annual challenge. Once again I have friends who I normally see regularly, but who will be unavailable to me due to their seasonal obligations – in some cases travelling abroad for up to three weeks.
I realised that the times last christmas when I felt best was when I was busy, distracted from what was going on around me. I remember going for a short hike on christmas day and how it made me feel much better.
For me, travel is the supreme distraction – seeing different places, doing different things, simply feeling different than one would at home. So it seemed to me that leaving Malta for a few days would be the best protection against seasonal loneliness and risk of depression.
I was ready to travel alone, but in the end, I have found one friend who used to be keen on christmas but who has become more cynical about the dubious benefits of following the crowd and enduring time with their family, with all the pressures that go with it.
We decided that the most logical thing would be to travel together, thereby avoiding all other commitments and hopefully being distracted by the simple delight in being somewhere else.
So, next week will see me travelling to Italy with my friend, for some city strolling, country walking, good food and good conversation.
There will be no christmas trees in our hotel rooms, no cards cluttering up shelves, no nightmare family dinners, no repeats on the TV – but hopefully no loneliness either.
I think I may have cracked the problem. I’ll let you know in January.
The Christmas season is a joyous time for many but a depressing time for others. Society puts too much into this holiday. But it is beneficial to get people out and shopping and the economy moving again.
I hope you had good holidays.
Much like most holidays in the USA Christmas is all about consumerism and excess. Like you said above, its hard going against the herd, but I think more and more people are getting sick of it lately. Christmas is being rammed down your throat for a month and anything that is that forceful will eventually become unappealing so i’m crossing my fingers that soon enough it will die down.
Well, we survived it
Till next year
While I get the sentiment, I actually enjoy christmas time.
Vacation time, Roasted chestnuts, etc.
I find it a little easier to participate at will, instead of getting swept along with the tide, but going traveling during this season is awsome. My wife and I usually go somewhere with a swimming pool. though the place nearly always blasts out Christmas music, it gets very ironic when you are in the warm water swimming
Hope you enjoyed Italy. It is really a special country.
It’s easy to get down around the Christmas season, but by the end of January I’m normally back on top form!
While I can certainly see your perspective and agree with you (partially because when I was younger my best friend’s mother used to go crazy and had a whole slew of decorations for EVERY holiday. Easter, Thanks Giving, Halloween, Christmas, New Years, on and on and on…). This was extremely annoying to me, because while I was there, if something needed to be set up, I was the go-to-guy since I was taller and stronger than either of them.
Though, you talked about how Christmas was a time when people go out and do things they normally wouldn’t…so doesn’t your trip to Italy with your friend sort of fall under that category…?
How can one not like Christmas? It is one of the few days of the year when people are allowed to let their ‘hair down’, relax and possibly celebrate! I always manage to recharge my batteries around Christmas in time for the new year.
Christmas, however much its “rammed down your throat” and how expensive it can be, is still a great time of the year….for family, sharing and caring…. i love christmas!!
I look forward to Christmas time because I am excitable like a child and love to celebrate just about anything.
I find myself feeling sorry for those who are unable to manage the holiday season financially or those unfortunate people who do it tough alone.
For some it’s amazing and for some it’s heart breaking
I think I lot of people are more susceptible to depression this time of year as it’s generally darker, so we’re not getting as much sun.
I think it’s all too easy to get dragged into the consumerism of Christmas, but we never seem to be prepared for it. It just seems to loom up on us without warning.
All the expense of supplying the children with the latest ‘must have’ gifts coupled with a very slow business month, especially if you are a window cleaning company, can seem very distressing.
When it finally arrives, and the children smile and laugh all day with family and friends, it all seems worth it.
So, until November, I’ll probably pretend it not coming, but welcome it with open arms in December.
First of all I hope there was no loneliness for you this Christmas. We all deserve to have someone near us that period of the year.
What I don’t like about growing up is that we become more agitated and into the worries of life, forgetting friends and things which are really important.
Feedback: it worked really well. Might do it again.
Christmas can certainly be a roller coaster ride. This year was a tough one for my family as my uncles was killed in a job related accident. He was only 2 years away from retiring. I do have lots of pleasant memories also though, so, we just keep moving forward and handling each holiday season come what may.